I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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