there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
