did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
