He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm really busy with my period
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