I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
