she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize