i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There's always time for handjobs
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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