my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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