Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
