So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
