Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
