So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
