they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
they're like a gay fantastic four
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
