Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
