im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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