but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize