girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
