I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
