the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
