omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
God, I missed his penis.
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