tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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