If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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