The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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