it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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