Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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