Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
