WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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