he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
