That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
