Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
