dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
