I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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