i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
