I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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