I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
