Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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