the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
