fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
