6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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