Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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