so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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