I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
