I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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