so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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