Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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