Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
