Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
