Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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