We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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