You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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