maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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