my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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