he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
