Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
