bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
