i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
