i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
