I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize