Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
