Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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