Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
