Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
