So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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