im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
